Here’s My Heart

I just wanted to share my heart with you today. I haven’t always been one to study the Bible or do devotions or listen to online sermons in my free time. I actually just recently got started again. For a period of time I was basically just doing “enough to get by”, but I would say “I want more of Jesus” or “I wish I could hear from God like that person does”. I would want the benefits, without the work.
Does any of this sound familiar?

Back Story:
I was raised in a christian home and we went to church every Sunday. However, I didn’t have my first real encounter with God until I was 18 and had just graduated high school. If you’re a christian, you most likely remember when you had your first encounter with God and how it really changes your perspective on things. (Or maybe, you’re still waiting… and that is totally okay.) Let me tell you, God came through for me during a time that I really needed Him. At this point, I was “all-in” and my journey with Christ became one of my own and not based on my family.

But how many of you know we go through seasons in our lives? It seems like for me, my seasons consist of all-in and then halfway-in… Anybody feel me?  It doesn’t mean I get out of going to church or completely step off the deep end, but I stop praying as much, I can’t hear from God, and my mind is going in too many directions. This is a scary place to be, because the bible says “So because you are lukewarm–neither hot nor cold–I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” (Rev. 3:16) God wants us all to be on fire for Him, but if we’re not going to be, we might as well be cold…

This year (2017) is going to be a year of First Love. It’s time to remember why we fell in love with Jesus to begin with and go back to that place. “But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first. If not, I will come to you and remove your lamp stand from its place, unless you repent.” (Revelations 2:4-5)

Now that I have readjusted my focus (AGAIN!), I’m trying to hold myself more accountable and not get back into the cycle of all-in, halfway-in, all-in. I just want to be all-in.

I know there are going to be times when life isn’t easy or I won’t be able to hear God, but I would rather this be because it is a season of breakthrough or stillness and not a season of me being stagnant.

Basically, I just want y’all to know that you are not alone. You’re not the only one who gets flustered, lost, and halfway-in.  We’re all in this journey of Christ together and we all have so many similarities. There is no reason to think you are the only one who feels this way.

I have an amazing feeling that God is going to do something amazing this year, if we can just get on the same page as Him. He already has the plan designed, but He want us who are called (and we are all called) to step into the place that He has designed for us.

There is a generation of people who are broken and discouraged, who are getting ready to rise up for the Kingdom. If you are broken, if you are discouraged, just know that it means God can use you that much more.

Reminder: You’re not going to be an “amazing Christian” everyday. We have our faults and flaws, but all we can do is prepare ourselves and continue to grow. Don’t stay stagnant.

Say this: “I’m still learning. God is still working on me. I have a journey ahead of me.”

“Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night.” (Psalm 1:1-2)

I hope that you find encouragement in this post and I pray that you would discover God in a new way. If you have any thoughts or prayer requests, let me know in the comments or in an email. You can also follow me on Instagram and Twitter for daily updates.




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